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The Soul Midwife



 "Soul Midwives are non-medical, holistic companions who guide and support the dying in order to facilitate a gentle and tranquil death." 

And that, as I discovered on the day course I attended on Saturday, is just the beginning of the work carried out by Soul Midwives. It was a day of discovery and revelation, light and laughter, emotional challenge, and deep thoughtfulness. So much so, in fact, that I didn't know if I was going to be able to write about it. By the time the day ended, I felt both inspired and humbled, and also completely drained. There was a LOT to take on board and I knew I had to do something to distract my mind so that I could let the information sink in, in a subliminal sort of way. I watched a load of banal TV game shows that evening and wished they'd bring back The Generation Game, like in the old days, because at least that was entertaining.

Anyway, here I am today, still inspired and feeling like I am at the start of something big. Yet I am wary of taking on another course at the same time as the diploma I am starting in two weeks’ time. I received the admin paperwork for that last Friday and have been ever so good about dealing with it and returning it promptly, starting as I mean to go on. I have a lot of reading to do already, and soon I’ll have homework and assignments to manage. Much as I am raring to take on even more learning, I’m reining myself in, pacing myself and remembering it doesn’t all have to be done NOW! 

The thing is, I have this need to be useful again, to do something that will be of service and benefit to others. It’s been two years since I was last in paid employment and all that time I’ve had this sense of feeling a bit useless and, to quote a terrible cliché, ‘on the scrap heap.’ Do I need to be needed. No. Do I need to have purpose in my life? Yes. I feel I’ve lost the person I used to be, but I am beginning to think that someone else is emerging who is quite, quite different.

Today, I spent considerable time engaging in a bit of organisational mind-mapping, trying to gather all the threads of information that’ve been whirling around my brain. Trying to make a bit of sense of what could be ahead. A satisfying and productive process. 

What I need most of all is to tap into a source of bravery. And patience. And probably a right royal kick up the arse. 

 


Comments

Anonymous said…
You are useful to me if that is any consolation, you bring me new views on things, new ideas, book recommendations, expanding my horizons, narrow horizons I might add, provide me with laughter and excitement to see another blog post and general banter. That’s useful. From someone still on the ferris wheel of the corporate world, be careful what you wish for but I know you well enough that I know you will take care to not thread down those dark halls agsin again.
KJ
Denise said…
Well, KJ, thank you for your very, very kind words, both touching and wise. You brought a little lump to my throat. I’ve no intention of climbing back on that ferris wheel - perish the thought - but I have an accumulation of ideas building in other directions. I shall take my time and see what happens. Sending you a hug across the ocean. x

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