Give Me Strength and the Will To Live

 Whilst replacing the saggy upstairs floorboard which probably caused the start of the leak that began to seep through the kitchen ceiling, Lord Malarkey’s dodgy knee gave way and he ended up putting his foot through the very same ceiling:

He didn’t come right through, thank goodness, because I happened to be underneath it at the time making leek, potato and rosemary soup. The ‘crack!’ made me jump a bit. Lord Malarkey called down the stairs ‘Have I just come through the ceiling?’ and I said, ‘Yes,’ and ‘Soup’s nearly ready.’ I have to say I felt a bit weary with the whole series of events leading to this size 11 finale and I went a bit quiet for the rest of the day, because it’s how I deal with things - a bit of calm contemplation to gather my thoughts and avoid running screaming up the garden and back.

The following morning, having given myself a stern talking to that at least it was a minor accident and no one got hurt and our home hadn’t been swept away in a flood or blow up in a war, I set too finding a plasterer to come and repair the ceiling. My son-in-law sent me details of the one he and Heather had used in their house last year and within 24 hours the plasterer had got back to me and is coming out on Sunday morning to do the repair. It’s going to cost roughly what I thought it might, but I’m not thinking about it. I’m just grateful we have the funds to pay for these things when they happen. And Lord Malarkey has done a cracking (literally!) job of replacing the wibbly floor boards upstairs. Solid as a rock now! 

Life is all swings and roundabouts. I’ve said this before, that the Universe likes to balance things out. Some you win, some you lose, but in the end all things even out. And then you die so none of it really matters anyway. And to that end, Lord Malarkey and I were in a solicitor’s office this morning re-making our Wills. 

Our Wills were over 10 years old and a lot of water has flowed under some pretty significant bridges during that time. We were due a review. The solicitor we found was very good: she explained everything clearly and presented all options. She made some useful suggestions and was all-round a bit of a hoot. 

One really exciting thing was that we got to make a ‘disaster clause.’ Ultimately, this is to prevent all our worldly goods going to the Government in the highly unlikely event that Lord Malarkey and myself, plus our beneficiaries all die at the same time in some weird and inexplicable freak accident. Should this happen, our estate will be divided between our four chosen charities, one of which is the Hare Preservation Trust.

‘Hair preservation?’ said the solicitor, casting a glance at Andy’s baldness.

I made bunny ear with my hands on top of my head. ‘Hare,’ I said.

‘Aaah,’ said the solicitor. ‘I thought that was a bit odd.’

And we all had a bit of a laugh! 

We’re returning in two weeks’ time to have the Wills witnessed and signed, and hopefully that will be that for at least another ten years by which time the Universe will likely have done a bit more tilting and balancing and things might need reviewing again. Who knows? The world is a strange place full of weird people and unforeseen circumstances. 

All being well, though, Andy won’t fall through any more ceilings causing me to drown in a vat full of soup. Now there’s an interesting plot for a novel…