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The Curious Incident of Luminous Poo in the Village

 There are many dogs that live in my local village. For example, there’s Princess the Yorkie, Mollie the chocolate Labrador, Flynn the mad spaniel, Hector - another chocolate lab, Dylan the red setter, Ellie who is almost Nell’s cockapoo twin, and Daphne of indeterminate heritage. There’s also a rabid greyhound, a skittish Jack Russell, a shifty-looking collie-on-the-edge and a gorgeous rescued dogue de Bordeaux, none of whose names I know. And a little Daschund puppy whose name I have been told but for the life of me I can’t remember but I think it was something French-sounding. 

Anyway, many dogs and they are well-provided for on the toilet front with a few strategically placed dog poo bins. There is no excuse for any doggy doings to be left on the ground. 


Recently, though, there appeared on the village website a brief article highlighting the appalling FACT that some dog owners were NOT using the dog poo facilities and were, instead, leaving their dogs’ offerings on the village pavements which was both antisocial and unpleasant. And in order to counteract this crime and make the perpetrators see the error of their ways, a public spirited member of the village community would be patrolling the streets armed with a can of luminous green spray paint in order to highlight the offending poo dollops with, well, luminous green paint. 

Now, I briefly pondered the environmental impact of dog poo versus luminous green aerosol spray paint but I didn’t dwell long because, quite frankly, I have better things to do with my time. And I also thought, it seemed a bit of overkill because Nell and I walk around the village on a regular basis and sitings of rogue doggy-do are very, VERY rare. 

It came to pass, though, that when the Phantom Paint Sprayer of Old Adderley Village has been on patrol, abandoned dog poo becomes very obvious. And I thought, perhaps this idea could catch on and ALL abandoned dog poo could be sprayed luminous green by Official Dog Poo Patrollers which would help people across the country to avoid treading in the stuff. Sort of a public health service. (Am I saying ‘dog poo’ too much? Apologies.)

Yesterday, when Nell and I walked from the village hall across the green space by the Bowls Club there was a dog poo highlighted in luminous green literally within twenty feet of a dog poo bin! And judging by the ferocity with which the Phantom Paint Sprayer had applied the paint, I am guessing they were more than a little annoyed by this example of dog-owner apathy. Aerosol rage, I think it’s called. 



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