I PROMISED myself that I wasn’t going to have any more stupid ideas. I was VERY firm on this promise. And yet sometimes other situations prove to be MORE stupid and one is forced to renege on one’s promise and set about implementing an idea that causes one’s buttocks to feel VERY tight at the end of the day.
This morning, all began well. I saw the first hare of the season. Out in the field it was, quite close to Vladimir Poo Tin, our septic tank. What a wonderful sight! (The hare, not Vladimir.) Reader, I emitted a girly squeal when I saw it which quite discombobulated Nell. The hare was having a high old time running around and I watched it for a while until it ran into the hedge. I sent it a little blessing of protection that it didn’t become squished on the road, and that its babies were many and healthy.
And then, buoyed up with endorphins from seeing The Hare of Joy, I thought, ‘Right, I am going to tackle a tech problem.’ Rolled up my sleeves, put determined look on face, flexed fingers, all ready for the job.
The tech problem was with AOL. I’ve had an email account with AOL since forever and, aside from the occasional torrents of vile spam it lets through, it’s been okay. However, two things happened recently. Firstly, the app has begun playing up - stuff like refusing to open for ages, or not downloading email unless I refresh the page three or four times. And refusing to delete the aforementioned vile spam even though I’ve asked it very nicely to do so. The ‘Account Error’ message was becoming an all too familiar visitor to the screen. Messages like that make me uncomfortable and suspicious. I think there must be something criminal going on in the background. I do not like it.
And secondly, the app button changed from a nice, calm blue ‘n’ white effort to a hideous ‘looks like an angry wasp’ yellow and black. What’s all that about then? An awful rebranding decision, that’s what.
Well, I can’t be doing with these daily irritations, minor though they are. I thought, I know, I’ll do an email audit and transfer all the useful and life admin contacts to my second email account, which is with Gmail.
Oh ye gods! If only it was as easy to do as it is to say!
I started off well. I went through my saved password accounts that were linked to the AOL email and deleted ones that I no longer needed or used. This didn’t shorten the list much, but it was a start. And then I crossed off the list ones that were already on the GMail, which weren’t that many but shortened the list a bit more. And then I set about logging into accounts to change the email details of the remaining, which was more than I anticipated.
Dear Reader(s), sometimes it was easy. And sometimes it was not. Extra layers of security in the form of passcodes, confirmation emails, texts, carrier pigeons and magical incantations poured through the ether like mice after the last bit of cheese in the Universe. I fought the battle with laptop, landline, mobile phone and iPad. I was like the Tarot Queen of Swords, batting and taming information overload with my sharpened Pokey Thing of Patience and my enormous Shield of Calm. Because once I have a stupid idea, sheer pride will not let me back down and leave things as they are. Fight to the bitter end, that’s how I roll. And probably shouldn’t. Sigh…
Halfway through Nightmare on Tech Street, I got a WhatsApp from Eddie, my hairdresser. He was in town. Did I want a haircut? Did I absolutely! I had to cut my own fringe over the weekend, and my regular cut was three weeks overdue. Eddie arrived within 20 minutes and I enjoyed a welcome break of a jolly good chat, ending the hour refreshed to tackle the next round of email changes with girl power hair!
And here I am now, all squiffy of eyeball and fuzzled of brain, not quite finished with the stupid idea. But there is a massive hole in the Tech Problem list that, if it were to be set upon the Atlantic Ocean, would sink like a sieve. I have half a dozen more bits to tackle. After today’s efforts, it will be easy peasy lemon meringue pie.
Despite what ‘they’ say, the internet has NOT made life simpler. Oh, that it were 1975 again…
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