My car insurance is due at the end of this month. A couple of weeks ago, I received a renewal email from my current insurance company for the sum of £152 for the coming year. This was actually £4 cheaper than last year's premium which is a minor miracle in itself, what with rocketing prices of everything these days. However, the renewal notice implied that last year I paid £181 which makes this year's premium £29 cheaper than last year's except it isn't because they were wrong about last year's premium and I was right because I checked my records which are VERY thorough and accurate. I don't know from where they got the figure of £181. Out of a hat, I imagine.
Anyway, because I hold no loyalty to any specific insurance companies, because they don't show any loyalty to their customers in return, I immediately set about checking the comparison websites to see what premium I could achieve this year, which turned out to be a very satisfying £117 which is £35 cheaper than my current insurer renewal quote OR £64 if I believe their maths which I don't because they are wrong.
Striking whilst the iron was hot, I bought the new insurance - box ticked, all covered for another year of motoring.
On Monday, I received a paper version of the renewal quote from my current insurer through the post. Having already cancelled the auto-renewal option - I always do this immediately I purchase insurance because I am perfectly capable of remembering when my insurance is due, if only because the companies pester me about it - I suspect they were desperate to keep my custom for another year and were having to try harder to do so rather than rely on stealing the premium directly from my bank under the guise of autorenewal, because 'we don't want you to drive without insurance and get into trouble.' Pah! If I choose to drive without insurance, and I get into trouble because of it, then I will take the consequences as a responsible adult. And because I AM a responsible adult, I wouldn't drive without insurance anyway. So there!
I digress. The letter I received was a duplicate of the email I received. One paragraph stated that before I chose to buy insurance elsewhere, it was VERY IMPORTANT that I contacted them IMMEDIATELY, because my circumstances and details MIGHT have changed and they MIGHT be able to offer a cheaper quotation.
But, as my circumstances and details have NOT changed I knew the premium wouldn't - because why would it? - and that is why I purchased my insurance for this year from a different company. I used the renewal letter as fuel for the wood-burner. Waste not, want not.
Yesterday, I had a phone call from the insurance company. Had I received their renewal notice? Yes, I had. And was I going to renew with them because they could take the payment now if it was convenient? No, I wasn't and it wasn't.
'Can we ask why?' this chap said.
'Yes, I found my insurance cheaper elsewhere,' said I, when what I really should have said was 'mind your own business' and hung up. But I didn't because I am a polite person.
'Aaah, but your circumstances and details might have changed,' said the chap, 'and we could offer a better deal.'
'They haven't changed,' said I.
'We would pay any penalties so you could cancel your new insurance and return to us,' said the chap.
No wonder insurance is so expensive, I thought, what with them sending out unnecessary letters, making unnecessary phone calls and offering to pay cancellation penalties. Shocking!
'Well,' I insisted, 'I am happy with my new insurer and I shall not be a returning customer.'
'Okay,' said the chap, who was sounding desperate by now, 'whilst we've been talking I've managed to get your renewal quotation down to £126.'
'Why didn't you offer that to me in the first place on the renewal email, instead of £152?' said I, knowing full well why - money grabbing bastards.
It went a bit quiet.
'Well, we needed to know about any changes in your circumstances,' said the chap.
'But I would have told you about any changes in circumstance, wouldn't I, because that's in the terms of the insurance, isn't it?' said I. 'Therefore, you would already know about them because if I hadn't told you it would have invalidated my insurance, which would have been very silly of me.'
I couldn't bear to hear him struggle any longer.
'Besides,' continued I, 'I've renewed with a new company for £117 which is still £9 cheaper than what you've just offered.'
'I'll put a note on your file,' said the chap. 'Perhaps we can look forward to welcoming you back as a customer next year?'
That's highly unlikely, I thought. It's highly unlikely I'll stick with the new insurer. Sad to say, but they are all duplicitous and untrustworthy when it comes to putting their customers and value for money first. They are all about making massive profits. That's all. But insurance is the law so I'll have to keep up this infuriating charade every year until I decide to trade in my car for a horse.
I've cancelled the auto-renewal on my new policy.
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