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No-Bile Phone Faff

 


Yesterday, I watched the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as 47th President of the United States of America, and only because I thought, ‘I’ve never seen an inauguration before’ and it seemed a good thing to do, especially as the weather was a bit miserable. It was interesting to watch. I especially enjoyed the musical interludes that introduced the V.I.P types - all cheerful and ‘jazz hands’ style. I have no further comment about America’s new President, other than I can see why he is appealing to a lot of US citizens because he really, really seems to love his country (which is more than can be said of our personality bypass Prime Minister) and that I am enjoying the Left-Wing types getting in a high old nasty name-calling tizzy about him. 

Anyhoo, I have a decision to make in the next two or three months regarding my mobile phone. Currently, I have an I-phone 6 which has been in my possession for around five years. It’s been perfectly suitable for my minimal mobile phone needs. I am in the fortunate position of having survived more of my life without a mobile phone than with one, so I am not dependent on having one. I don’t have it with me 24 hours a day every day, and I most definitely do NOT take it to the toilet with me. It usually sits on the island in the kitchen. I do (sometimes) pop it I’m my pocket during the gardening seasons because Andy is concerned I might meet with a gardening accident and will need to call for help if I am incapacitated. Heaven forbid he’ll come home one day to find me collapsed amongst the raspberry canes being savaged by rooks.

The phone has its occasional conveniences, like Andy calling me to say, ‘Fill the MudDaddy with warm soapy water, will you? Nell’s got mucky legs,’ because he’s taken her for a walk across filthy wet fields, god knows why in this weather, I stick to the relatively clean tow paths and lanes. Occasionally I’ll use it to take photos. Occasionally, I’ll even use it to make a phone call. But mostly it is used for the WhatsApp communications because I am no longer on any social media platforms (life is so much calmer!) and WhatsApp seems the de rigeur form of communication these days. 

And therein lies my problem. From May this year, WhatsApp will no longer support its use on an i-Phone 6. If I want to continue using WhatsApp (I am currently feeling ambivalent about this) I will have to buy a newer i-Phone. I feel like I am being bullied into this by the inexhaustible demand of tech giants that we update our devices as often as possible for maximum profits for them. Pah! Just because they keep updating their tech doesn’t mean I have to keep updating my life. Does it? Or am I missing something here? 

Now, as it happens, the battery in my mobile phone appears to be on its last legs. It charges up well and seems to hold its charge for a day, and then it will suddenly go from, say, 83% charge to 27% charge to DEAD in the space of a couple of hours. In fact, the gap between 27% and DEAD can happen in the space of minutes and, therefore, I often don’t notice it is DEAD because, as I say, I don’t walk around with the phone glued to me all day, every day. So I’d been in a mind to have the battery replaced before I became aware of the WhatsApp débâcle and had even got as far as finding out that a place in town will do the job for me easy peasy lemon meringue pie. 

But now I know I shall have to replace my phone in the next three months, it seems pointless spending out on a new battery, n’est ce pas? 

Oh, and all the faff that will come setting up a new(er) phone. I know it will cause faff because these things always do. Passwords won’t be recognised, security codes will get lost in the ether, the on-line world will refuse to acknowledge that I actually exist. The only part of the process I’ll vaguely enjoy is choosing a new phone case but then I like the one I currently have and it’s still perfectly serviceable but it just won’t fit the new(er) phone. Aaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh!!!

What I REALLY want to do is say stuff it to the lot of them and go back to the pre-Internet days. (If Andy reads this, he will be rolling his eyes A LOT by now.) No mobile phone, no WiFi, no ‘oh, but tech makes your life soooooo much easier’ when a lot of the time it actually doesn’t. 

It all boils down to the inevitable, really. That I am now, officially, old. 


Comments

Anonymous said…
I hear you. My iPhone is like the 6th finger, now I have it impossible to live without. I would miss it if I didn’t have it but dream of doing without. Not sure that is possible anymore. I’m in a company where just about every one has a work phone. I was required to upgrade and it took me 6 months to drum up the courage to call the IT department because I just couldn’t be bothered. It was extremely easy to move my info over though. At least that has improved.
KJ


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