Yesterday, the sun was out, the skies were blue, the wind was non-existent and as all gardeners know at this time of year, it was the best of days to get outside and do a pre-Winter tidy up. What I REALLY wanted to do was stay inside, read, knit and watch The Repair Shop on catch-up TV BUT the Gnome of Gritty Determination was immediately in my ear (not literally - that would be very uncomfortable. I can’t even cope with ear plugs let alone a whole gnome) telling me to ‘Go out NOW and CRACK ON, you lazy whatsit!’ And so I did.
Well, I did after I had executed an early morning run on the supermarket in order to buy ingredients for Sunday Lunch, as Heather and Oli are coming round and I fancied to do a jolly nice spread. Chicken and ham pie for the meat eaters, creamy mushroom pie for the vegetarians, with a cauliflower cheese, mashed potatoes, roast parsnips and carrots, peas, broccoli, onion gravy and an apple and blackberry crumble for pudding! Mmmmm…mmmm…
Back to gardening. I hoiked out all the old runner bean plants and started to clear the courtyard of leaves, but then I was distracted by the hornbeam hedge which needed pruning around the sides and about three feet of growth taking off the top. I like to keep the hornbeam hedge at around the 8-9 feet high mark but it had gone especially berserk this year. Out with the shears and secateurs, then. Started with the sides. Nell had been running about doing this and that, but I then noticed she was obvious by her absence . Always suspicious of Nell and Quietness I stopped shearing the sides of the hornbeam and went to look for her. Found her digging a massive hole under the wildlife woodpile in the far corner of the garden. She was filthy and had also murdered a wood mouse. I was not best pleased.
Took Nell inside (time for a cuppa, anyway), made tea, bathed Nell, drank tea, returned to hornbeam hedge, having confined Nell behind gate in lower half of garden. She was not best pleased about this, but I said, ‘That’s what you get for digging holes and being a mouse murderer.’
Pruning the top of the hedge is always a thrilling adventure, and will likely become more so as I progress in years. I got out the telescopic loppers to deal with the really thick bits, and the sun only scuppered me on a quarter of the length of the hedge by attempting to dazzle me into giving up and going indoors to knit, read, etc etc. However, there were some bits that necessitated my climbing a small ladder in order to reach them. I tried not to wobble too much because I didn’t want to fall off and break anything, least of all me, and after a couple of hours the hedge was neat and tidy and shorter and my shoulders only ached a bit.
Came indoors for lunch. The call of the knitting was great. The nagging of the Gnome of Gritty Determination was greater. Went back outside, found Nell eating a dead great tit. 🤢 This morning she had trouble expelling the digested diet of dead bird so I had to ‘assist’ using mucho kitchen roll, and then she required a bottom wash. Into the bath she went. She was not best pleased. I said, ‘That’s what happens when you clog up your digestive tract with dead bird.’
Back to yesterday. Got out the lawnmower. The grass is being annoyingly persistent and needed another cut. I find our new lawn mower particularly cumbersome to wrangle around the sloped bits of the garden but I carried on because I am made of Strong Stuff. And that bloody gnome was in my ear again. Managed about a third of the lawn and then Andy appeared and said would I like him to take over? Andy currently has a very disgruntled knee which is on strong painkillers and is attending an x-ray next Saturday in order to see exactly what the chuff is going on. I said as long as his knee could cope, and he said yes (presumably high on paracetamol and codeine), so he completed the lawn mow and I turned my attention back to the courtyard from whence I began what felt like hours and hours ago. Because it was.
Swept up all the leaves, did some weeding, tidied up the geraniums which will need to go into the greenhouse soon, pruned back the roses that looked like they were done for the year. Removed a dead mouse from the spout of the watering can. 🤢 A few of the roses are bravely putting on more flowers, which is nice. And by 4.30 p.m I’d had enough, my arms, shoulders and legs had had enough and I told the Gnome exactly where he could shove his Gritty Determination. Came inside, washed my hair, got changed, did some knitting.
Today, I am amazed I feel normal. Well, as about normal as I ever feel. No aches or pains. Feeling smug at how good the garden looks. Took Nell for canal walk. No cows pulling stunts on vertiginous banks.
Off to cook lunch now. I’ll put on the radio for company. I might sing.
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