Phoenix and Carpets

 One of my favourite books as a child was ‘The Phoenix and the Carpet.’ My copy had exactly this picture on the front. I must have been around nine when I read it, and I remember the TV series, too, which came out in 1976. Do you remember the summer of ‘76? Blimey, that was a scorcher. How things have changed in almost 50 years. 

E. Nesbitt also wrote ‘Five Children and It’ which I read, too. Coincidentally, my great-grandparents grew hops of the type ‘Phoenix’ in their hop gardens in Kent, and I have ‘Phoenix’ hops in my own garden as a connection to them. Another coincidence is that this morning, Lord Malarkey was heading off to B & Q to buy some compost, and I said to him, ‘As you are going out, could you please take some stuff to the rubbish tip?’ and he said, ‘Yes,’ and one of the things happened to be the poor, demised, chewed-to-bits-by-horrid-dog-Nell carpet rug that was much beloved by me and my toes as a feature of the dining room. 

Anyway, I had accumulated a few bits in the laundry in the previous few months that needed to go to the tip, and whilst Andy was loading them into his car, I had a quick scout around for any other bits of tutt I could get rid of. And, coincidentally, on the workbench that runs across the width of the laundry, there was stood upright a small roll of off-cut carpet leftover from when we had a new carpet put in the back bedroom a couple of years ago. It’s the sort of thing you can’t quite bring yourself to throw away, one of those ‘it might come in handy’ examples, although quite what I thought this might be handy for I don’t know. Something to kneel on when gardening, maybe, or providing flooring for a very small Wendy house. Or an outside dog-kennel.

Anyway, two years down the line and it hadn’t found a use so I thought it might as well go to the tip. BUT, as I looked up (and it’s a jolly good job I did) I thought, ‘Hello, there’s some feathers sticking out of the top of that roll of carpet.’ And then I noticed that around the edge there appeared to be a circle of mud…

…the bloomin’ swallows have only made a nest in the top of the carpet! And there are five eggs in it!! 

Look at that! Can you imagine the disaster that would have ensued if I’d just grabbed the carpet and given it a yank? Scrambled eggs, that’s what! 😱 Oh, horrors! 

Fortunately, because I am very observant and a bit hyper-vigilant, I DID notice and all was well. The carpet will stay in situ until the second batch of swallows is hatched, fledged and all have flown to warmer climes for the Winter. Little tinkers, eh? But isn’t it a lovely nest? Mud, (well carpet, then mud) and a layer of grasses, then lined with feathers. How cosy! 

I wonder if they chose to make another nest towards the back of the laundry because the weather has been so damp and dull this year? The new nest is away from any direct drafts from the door. And also away from an annoying, barky dog.

There was a joke doing the rounds when I was at primary school and in the spirit of tying the post up nicely, I shall relate it now. Apologies in advance…

…Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Phoenix!

Phoenix who?

Phoenix my lollipop, I’ll bash him on the nose!