Well, not ‘new’ new because, as has been pointed out to me, I tend to wax and wane when it comes to The Next Amazing Thing I Want To Learn About, so it was probably sensible of Lord Malarkey to buy this…
…a pre-loved (or as it used to be called in Ye Olden Days ‘second-hand’) microscope with a set of pre-loaded microscope slides to get me started in exploring the world of teeny-tiny things unseen by the human eye.
I can’t remember what it was that made me think it, but a while ago, something clearly piqued my interest and I said to Andy, ‘You can buy me a microscope for my next birthday or Christmas, if you like,’ thinking both dates would be far enough into the future that I’d forget what I said and a surprise would ensue on the day. However, he decided to jump the gun and gave me this as a random day gift a couple of weeks ago. Of course, this means I now have to think of something else ready for when he says, ‘So, what would you like for your birthday/ Christmas?’ which is slightly irksome because as the years pass by there is very little that I either want or need. I digress…
…the microscope was a very exciting random day present! I mean, who doesn’t love receiving a gift just for the hell of it? The box of slides contains both stomach churning samples: spinal cord, small intestine, cardiac muscle, motor neurone cell, and samples of a more charming nature: pollen and various bits of plant material. There is also a sample of penicillium to which I am all-over-body-rash allergic so I shall take care not to break the glass and lick that one. I’m very good about things like that. I’m not a research laboratory in Wuhan, for casual example.
When I was a secondary school student, one of my favourite subjects was Biology. Sadly, there were never enough microscopes available for everyone in the class to have their own, so we had to share in pairs and I’m afraid I was the kind of child who would always let the other person go first and have more than their fair share of the allotted viewing time because I was polite and nice and lacked any sort of cut-throat gumption. The only other thing that spoiled Biology lessons for me was a girl called Julie Hollands who was a nasty little bully and made my life a bit miserable with name-calling and attempts to physically wreck my Biology folder and notebooks. The only consolation was that I was way more intelligent than her and she looked like an albino pig. That’s how I imagine her these days - a barrel of a pig-faced thicko woman who has a massive shaped karma stamp right in the middle of her forehead. Makes me feel better, anyway. But probably unfair to pigs.
I am about to purchase some empty slides so I can make my own samples. And I must remember to store the microscope away from the shelf near the window where it’s currently sitting because I’ve just noticed the sun streaming through the west facing window directly onto the lens and it would be just my luck that some small fire would ensure and cause issues in my office. Which would be very sad because I love my office exactly how it is, and not with charred edges and smoke damage.
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