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Half-Cocked Roundabout Habits

What would you do if, like me, you are prone to living a life of half-cocked habits? You know, when you become so fired up by the New Best Thing that you buy all the books, sign up to all the websites, newsletters and courses, and then you start feeling trapped and hemmed in, and your interest fizzles/wanes/ dies a slow and inevitable death, and a lot of eye-rolling ensues from those around you. Because this is how a lot of my life has been and sometimes, when this happens, it makes me doubt my intuition. On the plus side, I’ve learned a lot of stuff along the way, but it’s been stuff without a final outcome.

But maybe we don’t need a final outcome? Maybe learning about lots of stuff is an outcome in itself? This ridiculous notion of ‘target setting’ and ‘goal achievement’ that the modern world seems so keen to run on doesn’t help. However, I am on the periphery of the modern world, being a retired hermit now, so targets and goals are no longer a part of my life vocabulary. 

I also think having the Moon in Aquarius and Mercury in Sagittarius doesn’t help. Nor my Mars in Sagittarius. Or my North Node in Gemini. *Sigh*… actually, a LOT of my astrological natal chart is set in challenges of one kind or another - there’s a lot of Air and Fire going on for this Water baby - but I’ve been born now so I’m stuck with it and better crack on.

You see, I’ve had another rush of intuitive inspiration. It’s exactly the kind of thing that happens when I start feeling cheerful because the weather is nice and garden is whooshing into life.The Universe seems very insistent on delivering this new set of ideas. Actually, when I look back through my diaries, it’s not a new set of ideas at all, just a recycling of ideas from the past come back to make their presence felt in stronger, if marginally different, terms than before.

Communing with a bee on a chive flower helped.


This bumblebee spent AGES on the chives. It fell off a couple of times. Drunk, I suppose. But it climbed back aboard and continued about its business in a focused and methodical manner. Here is it performing a wobbly remount:


All legs akimbo. And looking like it’s shouting, ‘Wheeeeeeeee!’ in an ecstatic glad-to-be-alive kind of way. That’s what I’d look like if I could fly, listing a bit to one side and keeping my fingers crossed I would land effectively and not look a complete arse whilst doing so. 

Anyway, I have taken inspiration from the Bumblebee. I have set myself a few ground rules regarding this latest project, and I’ve been able to do so because I am older, wiser, calmer and haven’t a single finger left to get burnt. I’ve installed metaphorical safety nets (real safety nets would be foolhardy on account of Nell immediately getting involved, tangling herself up and going berserk trying to break free, like she did with her blanket a few days ago) and I have set my Life Timer on ‘Slow’ so I don’t gallop ahead of myself. 

Enjoying the journey with no expectations of the final destination…


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