Many things irritate me about Keir Starmer, the leader of the Labour Party, but by far the worst is the way he uses the ‘list of three’ as a language feature in EVERY single speech he makes. It’s a habit Tony Blair has, too. It smacks of a teenager desperately trying to pass their English Language GCSE. As an ex-English teacher, I taught ‘rule of three’ because it was required of me to do so. As a writer, if I catch myself using it, I smack myself around the face and tell myself to grow up and be more sophisticated. The way Keir Starmer trots out rule of three in his speeches could be used as a teaching exemplar. But as a man in his 50s he needs to get a grip and let it go, let it go…let it go.
Anyway, I didn’t come here to rattle on about Starmer’s third rate political rhetoric style. Oh no! I am here to talk of the weird randomness that has been today.
It started when Andy had a half day at work because the other half of his work day had been deferred until Friday so he could attend a couple of important work meetings. This meant I had to change our prescheduled Friday appointment to remake our Wills, but I thought that New Job Meetings trumped New Wills Meeting, and the appointment was easier enough to reschedule. Anyway, because of the half day, we had an ideal opportunity to meet up for lunch!
Off I went with Nell to our local garden centre where Andy was already waiting for us. At the garden centre is a very nice, if somewhat expensive, fruit and veg stall. And what was at the front of the stall but a big pile of Seville oranges! Only yesterday I’d been thinking, ‘I’d like to make some marmalade this year,’ having failed last year because I couldn’t find any Seville oranges anywhere. I think home made marmalade must be going out of fashion. I know it’s a faff, but when you look at the hideous list of ingredients in shop bought marmalade when marmalade should = oranges + sugar only, I think it is worth the effort. I bought 4lbs of Seville’s. Tick!
Next, we popped into the pet shop where Nell attended her puppy socialisation classes. Nell likes to visit Lauren, the lady who ran the puppy classes. Lauren always has a biscuit for her. Nell also likes to select a treat for herself from the shelves. Today, she chose a weird, chicken doughnut thingummy…
I’m not sure she realises she can eat it. She just enjoys carting it around with her. She had a weigh-in, too. 9.4kgs.
And then we popped into Lakeland’s. Yesterday, I was thinking, ‘I fancy having a go at making some fresh ravioli,’ because I saw it being made on ‘Amanda and Alan’s Italian Job’ on TV and it looked like a really lovely thing to do. I have a pasta machine in the cupboard, as yet unused. I bought it because I thought it might be a fun activity to do with the grandchildren but that wasn’t to be and for a while it made me sad just to look at it.
But I am over that silliness now, and today I bought these…
…ravioli cutters! And then I thought, ‘Hmmmm…marmalade ravioli?’ Probably not, eh?
We went to the garden centre cafe and had a nice lunch. The cafe is dog-friendly and means that Nell can greet her adoring public in comfort, and snaffle bits of panini from us. Then Andy got in his car and went to Argos to buy a doo-dah to attach his computer screen to the wall, and to B & M to buy some blood, fish and bonemeal for the apple trees and some fuel logs for to keep us warm in this cold snap.
And I went home with Nell to decant the pile of plums I had cooked up with some orange peel, and to continue my amateur studies of herbalism. Also, to learn how to count to ten in Italian. I almost stopped off at Aldi to buy a load of red onions because the first thing I did this morning was find a recipe for caramelised red onion chutney, again because I want to avoid the shop bought stuff and all its unnecessary additives. I didn’t though, because the car park looked unnecessarily busy and I’d had quite enough of people for one day. Also, I needed to check on my sugar stores for marmalade making, and how annoying would it have been if I’d stopped and bought red onions, then had to go back for sugar?
It’s been a funny old day, with nothing planned but lots achieved.
Nell has just found a carrot under the TV cabinet. I must have a word with the maid…
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