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Don’t Panic!!

 Before I start on the main topic of the day, I have an important question. How does one wash waterproof socks? I ask only because when I was out and about the other day, I saw waterproof socks for sale and I thought, ‘Surely that makes the washing of them difficult?’ It was one of those ‘conundrums wrapped in an enigma and packaged in a parcel’ moments. I didn’t buy any waterproof socks, but the washing of them has played on my mind. Surely one wouldn’t send socks for dry-cleaning? Surely? 

Today, I was thrown into a mini-panic moment, and it was because of this:


This is the field next to our kitchen window. And see that blue pole in the centre of the photo? That’s part of the electric fence that the farmer set up around the edge of the field this very afternoon. And that means one thing - that sheep are on their way, which no doubt Nell will find quite thrilling. 

But this installation of the electric fence happens at the beginning of December and has done so for the last 7 years. The sheep are pre-Christmas sheep, not pre-Hallowe’en sheep. I mean, I did sleep very well last night, but surely I hadn’t slept for six weeks and it was already the first week in December?

Because if it WAS the first week in December then I am already behind with the Annual Much Malarkey Manor Christmas Story. 

Oh calamity! This was worse than thinking about how to wash waterproof socks. I needed a crisis meeting with His Lordship Malarkey because I’ve been writing Annual Christmas Stories for YEARS and every ensuing year I have to think harder about what I’m going to write because I’m rapidly using up all the obvious Christmas-story related stuff.

‘What about the traditional Mary/Joseph/Jesus story,’ said His Lordship. ‘You haven’t done that. Three wise hens on camels, shepherds washing their waterproof socks in fields at night, Bold Frankenstein and Myrtle, all that stuff.’

‘No, and I’m not likely to, either,’ said I. ‘As Christmas stories go, it is waaaaay too predictable. And short. The Nativity has been a no-no since the get-go.’

Well, luckily, and as it happens, it is NOT the first week in December. However, it is a mere 42 days until the Christmas Story Kick Off 2023, and I need to put on my thinking cap, so thank you to the appearance of the electric fence for shocking me into action.

But what to do?

There ensued a blue-sky thinking session during which Andy and I batted ideas back and forth. You need this sometimes, when you are a writer, to have someone with whom to bat around ideas. There was a lot of ‘been there, seen it, done it’ going on because, as I say, the Christmas Story barrel is fast running dry. But eventually the ‘Eureka!’ moment arrived and I now have an official Plan of Action.

In fact, I can’t believe I haven’t tackled this particular oeuvre before given how influenced I have been by it over the years. Suffice to say (because I don’t want to introduce any plot spoilers) that Kenneth the Phantomime will be THRILLED! But he won’t be the star. But he doesn’t know this yet. So hush…

Mwahahahahahahaha!! 


Comments

Anonymous said…
You got this!
KJ
21 October 2023 at 18:52
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