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Customer Non-Service

Once upon a time (about two years ago) there used to be branch of my bank in my local town. A local branch for local people. It was a nice branch staffed by nice people and although I didn’t frequent it very often because I am down wiv da kidz and mostly do internet banking, when I did go in there, I always emerged a happy customer. 

One day, however, I received a letter saying that because the bank branch wasn’t used by many of the local people, it would be closing. The letter kindly offered old fogies like me the chance to have some free computer lessons in order to learn how to access their on-line banking app and systems. If I remember correctly, I used the letter as kindling to start a fire in the wood-burner that year. 

The bank branch duly closed. The biggest irritation for me was that its cash machine closed with it, so I now have to go elsewhere to get cash as and when I need it. Usually Morrisons which is a miserable place to visit these days, so I don’t go very often.

Anyway, in lieu of the bank branch closing and a probably very tiny uptake of the free computer lessons on account of the patronising manner in which they were offered, the bank decided to open a replacement - I don’t know what to call it really - service? - in the local community centre, where customers can make an appointment to talk about their banking needs, issues, requirements, problems etc blah blah, on either a Tuesday or a Wednesday between the hours of 9.30 a.m and 3.30 p.m. The bank was very keen to mention that no cash transactions could take place during these sessions. So no bribing the staff to reinstate a proper bank, then.

This all happened, as I say, a couple of years ago. On Tuesday (the day before yesterday - please apply your own local time zone and adjust accordingly) for the FIRST time ever, I received a text from my bank, starting ‘Hi Denise!’ which put me off from the get go. Anyway, it was ‘just a reminder’ that the service was available to me on the aforesaid Tuesdays and Wednesdays at the aforesaid times. The tone suggested they were doing me a favour and wasn’t it all GREAT!! 

The cynic in me thinks this sudden surge in customer care occurred because on Monday I opened a new savings account with my building society (still open) and transferred money from my bank current account (0% interest) to the building society (5.35% interest) and my bank was trying to lure me in to one of their savings accounts. This is conspiracy theory, I know, but it’s a bit of a coincidence, n’est ce pas, that they’ve ignored me for the previous 2 years and now they’re texting me to say ‘Hi!’ ???

And then yesterday (Wednesday) I received another text informing me that the bank service was unavailable that day. 

I mean, really?? It’s like offering a small child a bag of Wotsits and then saying, ‘There are no Wotsits.’ Well, it would be if I was a child, which I’m not, and I ate Wotsits, which I don’t because they are nutritionally devoid and turn your fingers orange, and not in a good Oompa Loompa kind of way. 

I’ve been thinking of changing my bank for a while. Perhaps, now, sooner rather than later. 



Comments

Anonymous said…
I used to love Wotsits. Because our shopping is now online too I am no longer exposed to the temptation. Which is probably just as well. Marmite cashews though are quite another matter.
Banking has been online for ever here but should we require it we have a cute little van that turns up in the local car park on occasion. A satellite dish emerges from the top of said cute little van and away they go. Not sure whether cash can be exchanged. It might be too tempting for highwaymen n’est-ce pas?
(Mrs Duck)
12 October 2023 at 20:17
Denise said…
Mrs Duck, I shudder to think of all the rubbish I ate as a child of the ‘70s, but then that was before the horrors of UPFs became apparent. And, fortunately, I grew up in a family where home cooked food and fresh fruit and vegetables were de rigeur, and those habits have stuck. Also, growing up in the countryside I remember us being visited by the fishmonger van and the library van. Hurrah for businesses in vans, I say!

P.S Glad to hear you are a fellow Marmite fan!
13 October 2023 at 07:02
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