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Car-zoo…Yes, We Can!

 It’s very handy having a son-in-law who is a mechanic. Especially when, like Himself Lord Malarkey, you own a car that is on its last legs…

Having been making loud and unnecessary noises for a while (the car, not Andy. Actually, yes Andy, too…), Andy put his aged Citroen C3 in for its M.O.T and to have two sets of wheel bearings changed. £300 lighter, he came home with a list of advisories on the M.O.T which Ollie said he would deal with.

When Ollie went under the car to check a few things, he emerged and said, ‘Normally, I’m all for keeping an old car going but seriously, this one is not worth spending any more money on.’ (He is going to fix an exhaust leak on Friday, though, as it is a somewhat pressing matter.) I’ve been suggesting to Andy that perhaps, maybe, we ought to swap his car for something more, er…reliable…for a while, but now I have the honest opinion of Good and Wise Mechanic Ollie, I shall start insisting a newer car is considered, and with some urgency. 

It’ll be like taking a small child shopping for new shoes. In fact, even shopping for new shoes, Andy is reluctant, preferring to wear a pair literally into the ground before buying an identical pair to replace them.  Just like his cars.

We are not having another C3. Although it has been okay, the panoramic windscreen has been replaced at least three times that I can remember. I don’t know if panoramic windscreens are prone to cracking but we ain’t going there again. When discussing a change of car, Andy’s only prerequisite seems to be, ‘One with a boot big enough to take stuff to the tip.’ 

He doesn’t want a brand new car. Immediate depreciation, and all that. Plus he is Taurean and has a habit of banging into things. He would fret about immediately spoiling a brand new car by accidentally introducing it to a bollard. But something two, three or four years old would be good. Low mileage. Maybe something you climb up into, like the Picasso we used to have, so you are looking over and above things. Not one of these though…


It’d play havoc with his back and knees getting in and out of that! Nice colour, though. I know what my Mum would say : ‘But it’s RED…’ (Disapproving tone, rolling eyes, probably tutting.)

Dear Reader (s), we are going to have to go car shopping. I have some ideas, but already I am feeling exhausted by the thought. However, I feel more stressed by the thought of Andy driving the distances he does and the bottom falling out of his car, and him being stranded on an unlit lane and being captured by zombies who ‘fancy something a bit different’ for dinner. It’s either a new(er) car, then, or he finds a job closer to home that he can reach on his bicycle. That’s the ultimatum! 

I did wonder about buying a car online through one of those companies like Cazoo or Cinch. That’d save the hassle of actually mooching around car sales places and kicking tyres. Have it delivered straight to the door. I don’t know, though. I quite like to actually see stuff I’m buying. Especially after buying a couple of  tops from M&S and being a tad disappointed with the quality when they arrived. If I’d have seen them in-store, I’d never have bought them. Too flimsy.

Today, it’s our seven year anniversary of moving to Damson Cottage! Seven years! I have no plans of catching a seven-year-itch and thinking of moving, though. Happy to stay put for, well, probably the rest of my life. 


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