Today, Himself Lord Malarkey is in Derby. A few months ago, he received an invitation to be a celebrity guest at this…
…Whooverville, which is a fan event celebrating the works of Doctor Who novelists. Andy is a Doctor Who novelist. Waaaaaaay back in 1991, just as he was starting University, he entered a competition run by Virgin Media who were launching the ‘Virgin New Adventures’ series of Doctor Who novels. And his novel - ‘Cat’s Cradle: Witch Mark’- was a winner. It was published in June 1992 and it earned him a bit of money to see him through University. (Ironic that two decades later he ended up marrying a witch, eh?)
He was asked if he’d like to write another Doctor Who novel but he declined. He was too busy learning to be a veterinary surgeon. Just think - if he had accepted, I could now be married to a Doctor Who writer rather than a vet. I wonder how different that would have been? For a start, there would be no one handy to squeeze Nell’s anal glands when they backed up.
Anyway, today Andy is at Whooverville, meeting fans and fellow writers, being interviewed, signing autographs, and other celebrity stuff like that. Just to mention that Whooverville is not to be confused with Hooverville…
…which were the slum towns set up in America during the Great Depression by this man…
…Herbert Hoover, 31st President of the United States, who in turn should not be confused with this man…
…who is J.Edgar Hoover, Director of the F.B.I from 1924, who should definitely not be confused with…
…Henry Hoover, who is a vacuum cleaner. And Whooverville is also NOT this…
…which is Who-ville, created by Doctor Seuss, even though Andy does a very good impression of ‘Thing One and Thing Two’ who are Whos who live in Who-ville. No, the Who Andy is deeply impassioned by is Doctor Who.
And we segue nicely back to his novel! You can see his novel in the top left hand corner of the Whooverville poster, but in case your eyes are a bit squiffy, here it is again, only bigger…
(Dear Reader (s), I have a confession. I have never read this novel. I tried, but didn’t get very far. It’s just not my thing, I’m afraid. Is that terrible? Should I make a better effort?)
Andy has taken some of his Doctor Who artwork with him, to see if he can drum up some sales. After all, he reasoned, a fan bought two of the original manuscripts for his novel for the not too shabby sum of just over £1,000, so perhaps they might be keen on some original lino prints or drawings. This one, I think is particularly spectacular…
It contains ALL the characters ever to appear in Doctor Who! Hand drawn in minute detail! Sorry that the resolution is not great, but I think you’ll get the gist. It looks great in its real-life form!
Perhaps this event will kick-start a new career? Perhaps there will be some serendipitous networking? Perhaps connections will be made, conversations will be had, and the next thing I know Russell T. Davies will turn up for dinner.
Mostly, though, I hope Andy has a good time chatting shit with other Doctor Who people. I’m not a Doctor Who person so he doesn’t get much conversation from me on the subject except that I once served Tom Baker (the Fourth Doctor) in Specsavers. He recommended a film I should go and see. I can’t remember what it was but I remember being impressed by his pink waistcoat and booming voice. Not as booming a voice as that of Brian Blessed (who appeared in the Doctor Who episode ‘Mindwarp’ as King Yrcanos) but then no one can boom quite like Blessed. Except maybe a bittern. Or a kakapo.
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KJ