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Congraduations!

 


Barely four months old, and clever Nell has two graduations under her belt! Took me six years to earn my degree, so this puppy’s I.Q must be off the intellectual scale. Today, she completed the series of puppy hour socialisation sessions at Pets’ Corner having passed out (not literally) with her fellow grads - Charley the cockapoo and Ted the miniature schnauzer. Ted’s mum and I have swapped numbers because a) we get on very well and b) Ted adores Nell and it would be a shame if they never saw each other again. We are planning to meet up for outings, which will be nice.

Ted’s love for Nell is mostly unrequited. We’ve told Ted to play it cool and not be so free and easy with his adoration of Nell, but he is determined and rather unsubtle in his pursuit. When he gets too friendly, Nell just biffs him on the head and makes her escape. She is very patient with his advances but, despite Ted being the ‘older man’ by two days, she is way too sophisticated for him. I can see in her face she is saying, ‘Ted, we will never be anything more than friends,’ but he is too blind in his passion to see. Poor Ted. 

The pet shop where puppy hour is held is situated in a garden centre which is very dog friendly. There are various shop concessions like Hobbycraft, Lakeland and Cotton Traders at the garden centre, plus a couple of restaurants, so it’s a place one can pootle around quite happily for a morning in the company of one’s dog. After leaving puppy hour, Nell and I take a stroll around the garden centre so I can look at things that I might want to buy but in reality don’t because I’ve reached the stage in life where I don’t want or need anything very much. 

Off we set for our pootle then, high on receiving Nell’s graduation certificate and having her graduation photo taken with Ted. In the Ladies’ fashions department, Nell squatted and released a piddle the size of Lake Titicaca. Luckily, I was well-prepared with a plastic bag and a large wodge of kitchen roll, and I mopped up the piddle lake. Nell watched as I mopped, and she was thinking, ‘If you think THAT is impressive, wait until you see what I’ve got planned for when we reach Barbecues and Outdoor Furniture!’

Onwards we pootled, through Ladies’ Fashion, round the corner, past Kitchen Worktops and into Barbecues and Outdoor Furniture. Where Nell adopted the position and produced (and I kid you not) the most ENORMOUS poo she has EVER produced in her ENTIRE life! I’m quite good with weights and measures (being a seasoned cook and arts and crafts person) and I reckon that poo was at least 7 inches long. Bit tricky to get into the poo bag, but I’ve handled worse in my life. 

The problem is that we have to go through the garden centre to reach outside, and Nell gets so involved in puppy hour malarkey that by the time we leave she is ready for a wee at least and no matter how fast we try to exit the building to reach a suitable grassy patch outside, occasionally we don’t make it. I can see on her face she is a bit embarrassed about piddling inside because she is toilet trained now, but it’s not her fault. And it’s only happened after two puppy hours, which isn’t bad. She has NEVER piddled during puppy hour. Unlike Ted. 


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