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Dog’s Dinner

 I know…just when I thought my life couldn’t become anymore exciting, I spent a scintillating afternoon yesterday researching the pros and cons of various brands of dog foods. Did you know, dear Reader(s), that there are several hundreds of dog food brands out there? Seriously, you go into a supermarket to buy a pizza for dinner because you can’t be arsed to cook and you have, what? Half a dozen options? Look online for dog food and you’ve enough choices to eat a different dog dinner every day for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!

The first tip I realised is to avoid being sucked in by all the pretty packaging and marketing hype. For example, did you know that ALL meats in dog food are fit for human consumption? Any marketing blurb that states this as a selling point is a tad ingenuous. Mind you, the meats might be fit for human consumption but whether a human would WANT to eat them remains another kettle of prawns that hang around by sewage outlet pipes altogether. 

The second tip was to remember I am an adult of many years life experience who is perfectly capable of making my own adult decisions, especially about dog foods. I’ve received lots of dog-care hints, tips, advice and opinions over the last few weeks, only one of which I actually solicited, and that was from my brother, so really I should have known better, ha ha!! But seriously, everyone has their own experiences to share and that is GOOD because nuggets of useful wisdom reside therein once you’ve dug away the subjective twaddle. And I reserve the right to be picky, choosy and menopausal woman about it all. 

There are lots of brands out there that use cutesy names and images to sell their product. Lots of ‘Bunty’s Kitchen’ and ‘Moose and Dingle’ style thing. Lots of fluffy dogs sitting on squishy chairs or running in fields in the sunshine, smiling and surrounded by flowers. Lots of cartoon dogs, too, which I suppose are an easier subject to work with than a recalcitrant pooch who indicates that no, actually, I do NOT want to look as though I’m enjoying eating lamb, ostrich and quinoa kibble, before running off to pee up the cameraman’s tripod. 

I read about well-known brands, brands I’ve never heard of, ones that have been around for YEARS, ones that have sprung up recently because someone fancied having a go at cooking for their dog during ‘lockdown’ and then thought adding another dog food to an already saturated market was jolly good larks, yah? I examined various bits of research about protein levels, carb levels, mineral and vitamin levels. I was amazed how some dog owners become evangelically angry on the subject of raw food versus grain-based diets. I was like, seriously folks? Dogs are actually quite disgusting and will eat poo. And sick. And you should see some of the things Andy the Vet retrieves from various doggie bowels. I doubt dogs are that bothered by latest Paleo hype. (I hope no one is eating whilst reading this. If so, apologies.)

Of course, being married to a veterinary surgeon with decades of experience in all aspects of animal care, helps enormously in these decision-making processes. You’d think. I consulted with Vet Andy (in his capacity of Puppy Co-Parent) when he came home from work. He suggested a few pointers but concluded his sage wisdom with the words, ‘But really, I don’t mind what you decide to feed our puppy. Just steer clear of ‘x’ because you really don’t know what’s in that.’ And he named a product which I won’t relate here because it might offend those of you who feed it to your animals. 

I segued onto the tricky subject of prices. Has to be considered in this day and age of rising costs. Dog foods range, as do most things, from cheap to wildly expensive. Even from one website to another, a single brand varied in cost of up to £10 for the same thing. I buy all Bambino’s food from Zooplus which has fair pricing, bulk buying discounts, regular offers, and a loyalty points scheme which has kept Bambino in free feathered waggle stick toys for at least five years. They also deliver promptly. 

And then I looked at Bambino, who was lounging in front of the fire cutting a mighty fine and dashing  figure of feline health and beauty. And then the light came on (the figurative one, not the actual one) and I thought, ‘The brand of food I buy for Bambino caters for dogs, too!’

Five more minutes of research and yes - decision made! I shall be feeding New Puppy on James Wellbeloved dog food! Phew!!



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