Now, when I say, ‘Am I missing something?’ I don’t mean it in an actual ‘I am missing something - like my own horse/ dance studio space/ two acre field/ companion raven to sit on my shoulder’ kind of way. I mean it in a figurative way, like, ‘I’ve read it but I don’t get it because it’s not making sense in my brain.’
Go back a couple of months or so, when I was on the hunt for some new polo shirts for His Lordship Malarkey. His Lordship Malarkey does not like shopping for clothes so, in order that he doesn’t end up looking like Mahatma Gandhi because he has only a bedsheet to wear, I do clothes shopping for him, usually when I’m ironing and see his clothes looking more than a little shabby and beyond even my skilful repair. The only clothes shop Andy shows any remote excitement in is FatFace. He does like a FatFace hoodie. With pockets.
Polo shirts then. This is the fault of Bambino Bobble Wilson because in the mornings he insists Andy picks him up by the armpits and flings him over his shoulder in order that he, Bambino, may be carried around like some kind of King of the World. Bambino has paws with claws. There is a considerable amount of scrambling and clinging on involved in the act of flinging a cat onto one’s shoulder, made worse because Andy is usually needing either and/or both hands to operate his coffee machine at the same time, thereby turning Bambino into a living, breathing and very heavy epaulette. T-shirts and polo shirts suffer because of their open weave texture. The time had arrived for new polo shirts. Preferably cat claw resistant ones.
I found some on the Cotton Traders website. Ran them by His Lordship Malarkey (I don’t make random clothes purchases for him - they are always put forward for approval first) and he approved of a) style b) fabric c) colours. So I ordered them on-line, to be collected in-store at our nearest Cotton Traders which is about a 15 minute drive away.
And now, because I’ve ordered something online from them and they have my address, they insist on sending me their postal catalogue on a way too regular basis. I have tried to stop this because I rarely buy from them. I don’t want their postal catalogue and have cited environmental waste issues to try and stop them. I can use the website if I want to go polo-shirt crazy again. When I went to collect the polo shirts the shop assistant said, ‘Do you want to receive our catalogue?’ And I said, ‘No thanks. I can look online.’ Turns out it was a pointless conversation.
And still they come, and this morning their Christmas Catalogue 2022 arrived. Totally surplus to requirements because I have completed my Christmas shopping for this year, thank you very much.
And this brings me (at last and hurrah, I hear you say) to the ‘am I missing something?’ point. This:
Pull on trousers? PULL ON trousers??? How else does one wear trousers other than by pulling them on?
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KJ
KJ