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Brain, Bread, Car, Hedge, Bastard Bug and Poo

 I’m reading this at the moment…


It’s all about the neuroplastic nature of the brain, and its ability to learn, re-learn, overcome adversity and generally be more of a marvellous organ than we ever believed it could be. Even greater than The Mighty Wurlitzer. I know! Amazing, right? The writing in the book is tiny, there are many pages, many footnotes, a comprehensive reference section, and lots of words containing three syllables or more. It’s requiring considerable reading concentration on my part but it is fascinating and thought-provoking. The underlying message so far seems to be that the best things you can do for your brain are a) keep moving b) keep learning and c) avoid neurotoxins like cigarettes and alcohol. 

This morning I moved to the tune of making two loaves of bread and giving my car a jolly good inside/ outside clean. Last week at work, I made the mistake of parking beneath some power lines. At some point during the day, a flock of swallows chose those very power lines to gather upon and plot their imminent journey back to Africa. It must have been a very exciting planning meeting because by the time I returned to my car at the end of the day, the splatter of swallow poo on paintwork was a sight to behold. Imagine Jackson Pollock in an experimental phase, if you will. How I managed to drive home without crashing, I do not know, so thick was the windscreen in guano. Bleuch. 

It took a good while to clean the car - a lot of scrubbing and scraping involved - and it was during the cleaning of the car that I realised how much it was beginning to show its age. This also indicates how often I clean my car i.e not very often…

At almost 11 years old, the car has a couple of scrapes and dings, and there are embryonic signs of rust. It was growing moss, for heavens’ sake! Maybe it’s time to move on to a newer model after all. I’m not looking forward to it, I have to say, because new cars seem far more complicated than my little basic model C1 that has wind down window handles and door knobs for locking. Nothing sophisticated about it at all, really, beyond the radio CD player. It has served me well but when it goes in for its annual MOT and service in January, I know Bruce the Mechanic will say, ‘Still a nice little runner but….’ and then talk in mechanic-speak about mechanic-type stuff which I know equates to things threatening to seize up and drop off at some vague point in the future. Basically, my car is in the equivalent of menopause, and then some. 

Andy is very keen we go car hunting. I think I’ll go for a Toyota of some sort. Normally, I wouldn’t mind another Citroen but the French have been getting right on my nerves of late. 

Activity continued in the afternoon as I tackled the pruning of the hornbeam hedge. Since planting it on Boxing Day 2016 it has gone from strength to strength, and this year parts of it attained heady heights in excess of ten feet.  This is two feet taller than I want it to be so a bit of horizontal lopping was required. It was also sticking outwards in a wild fashion. Basically, the hornbeam is a tree, but I want it to be a hedge, so I set about doing some vertical pruning too, to make it suck in its sides and stand straight and tall rather than flouncy and blowsy. However, I am pleased with how it is shaping up and filling out, assuming the role of ‘Walled Garden But With Leaves Instead of Bricks.’ 

Towards the end of the pruning session I was brutally attacked by a Vicious Bastard Bug. How do they find me? Why do they pick on me?? The attack necessitated a pause in proceedings whilst I administered unto myself an antihistamine and a hefty dose of TCP. And then I couldn’t be arsed to complete the pruning so I settled in a chair in the shade of a sycamore tree and read more of my brain book. I may or may not have dozed off in the early Autumn sunny warmth for a few minutes. I definitely got dinged in the head by a passing bee.

Later, whilst waiting for dinner to cook I ventured into the laundry with heavy duty Marigolds and a bucket of hot soapy water to start cleaning up some of the splatter damage caused by our resident swallows. The last one appears to have vacated the building this week (and was probably one of the hooligans in the group who vandalised my car at work) so I was keen to start the Clean Up Process. This will be followed by the Sort Out Rubbish and Tidy Up Process and the Andy Takes Stuff To The Dump Process. But I needed to tackle the bio-hazard first. Which I did. 

And then I finished the day with apple and blackberry crumble. Which was nice. 


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