Skip to main content

Oh, to be in England, now that Swallow is here...

This morning, I’ve had a go creating some English Language GCSE exam questions. What do you think? 

1) When so much poverty and inequality exists in the World today, it is/is not a good idea to spend billions  of money (insert currency of choice) on space travel to Mars to fly a helicopter for 39 seconds because...?

2) The majority of sensible people do not give a shiny shite about football. Therefore, explain (using as few words as possible) why you care/ do not care about so much news time being taken up with a vacuous hoo-ha commentary about the formation of a new ‘super league.’ You should include the phrases ‘grow up and get a life’ and ‘toddler tantrum’ in your response. 

3) Write a cheerful dialogue which conveys positivity and hope for the future. There should be at least two characters in your script - one called Christopher Notwitty and one called Patricky Frilly Bed Valance. 

And now onto the more important issues of the day/life/Universe - namely that the First Swallow of Summer has arrived chez Damson Cottage! 


You can just see a little Dot That Is Swallow on the top wire there. Over the last five days I have witnessed three swallow sightings in various locations within a 5 mile radius of our home. Now, this could have been either three different swallows or the same swallow three times. I don’t know. Swallows aren’t famed for their individual distinguishing features like different coloured bow ties, for example. 

Anyway, in the photo, the chimney to the left is our boiler stack (I don’t know the correct word - no doubt my brother will inform me of the technical term) emerging from the laundry room roof. The thick wire connects electricity from the cottage to the laundry room. It is also providing tightrope balance support for the wisteria. The oppressive conifer belongs to next door. I surreptitiously lop bits off it when the neighbours aren’t looking, not that they would complain because they’re always saying it’s got too big but they are pensioners and lumberjacking isn’t a recommended sport for the over 70s. It is also home to several nesting birdies so I shall forgive its presence for another year.

And the two wires upon which the First Swallow of Summer is perched are telegraph wires. I like to think the Swallow is tapping its little feet and sending telegraph messages back to its family saying, ‘Holiday home successfully breached. Nest still in situ - weather warm during day but overnight frosts prevail. Give it another week before joining me. Laundry floor clean and ready for despoiling with poop.’

I left the laundry room door open all yesterday evening and watched to see if Swallow would enter therein. He spent time on the telegraph wires and our TV aerial. Lots of glorious singing and much preening of feathers there was, but no further approach. Andy shut the laundry door about 9.30 p.m.

This morning, I opened the laundry door at 6.30 a.m. 

The Swallow flew out! He had clearly snuck in the night before whilst the door was still open! Either that or he has magical ‘flying through solid walls’ powers...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Frosted Dawn Enigma

The decorators are in at the moment. Stairs and landing. Given my previous history of 'Hoo Ha Occurring on Stairs ' - reference the Trapped Under the Sofa Incident and the Foot Wedged Between Bookcase and Stair Rise Debacle - I thought it wise to pay for professionals to decorate the stairs and landing rather than get myself in a mix with ladder and plank combinations and achieve the Magic Three of staircase accidents. The decorators are a father and son combo who go by the  names of Craig and David. This automatically causes me entertainment. 'Came in on a Monday, prepped, filled and undercoated, back on Thursday, first top coating, by Friday finishing touches...' Okay, not as frisky or well-scanned as the original song, but you get where I'm coming from. Anyway, before they started the job Craig asked what colour I wanted for the walls. 'Same colour as the downstairs walls, please,' said I. 'Dulux Frosted Dawn.' And then white for all the woodw
2 comments
Read more

Day 1 - Decisions Are Made Beyond the Author's Control.

‘Well,’ I say, looking at the expectant faces gathered around the huge table in the Great Dining Hall of Much Malarkey Manor, ‘I didn’t think it was going to happen this year, but it is!’ There is a sharp intake of breath as everyone wonders of what I speak. I’ve been muttering about all sorts recently, and I’m not talking liquorice here either.   ‘The Much Malarkey Manor Annual and Traditional Christmas Story!’ I say, and wait for the expulsed air of relief to settle before I continue. ‘I thought we had done it all. I thought we had covered every Christmas story there was. I’ve been wracking my brains for a full two months now, trying to come up with something we haven’t done before and then it hit me! We haven’t done a version of one of the Great Christmas Films of Yore!’ ‘Your what?’ says Mrs Slocombe, who is more interested in the selection of pastries I have brought to this breakfast meeting, because that is what one does, isn’t it? Eat pastries at breakfast mee
8 comments
Read more

Launched!

  I was going to wait until tomorrow to launch the ‘Hallo Tarot!’ website, what with tomorrow being 1st July and, therefore, a nice tidy date for a beginning. But this afternoon, I became involved in a flurry of final tidy loose ends activity, and thus ended up cracking the metaphorical bottle of champagne against the ship of which I am Captain and whoosh! Off she went into the World Wide Web!  You can find it here : www.hallotarot.co.uk The blog is moving there, too, so unless things go horribly wrong, this will be the last entry here.  I hope to see you on the other side then! Let me know what you think. 
Post a Comment
Read more