Just You

 In recent years especially we have been encouraged to be individual, to express our differences, to - in the paraphrased words of the Mamas and Papas - ‘make our own kind of music, sing our own special song.’ Uniqueness, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? We are none of us the same, are we? It is demanded by society (and by society I mean media, politics, law makers, The Guardian newspaper, ‘woke’ celebrities keen for a career boost etc etc) that we accept each other for who we are, where we come from, where we’re going, our unique hopes, aspirations and dreams, and the fact that some of us might eat a chocolate digestive upside down and there is NOTHING weird about that at all. 

And ‘hurrah!’ for that, I say. I’ve never seen anything wrong with being a stand-out from the crowd. People are people are people as far as I’m concerned. Just get on with expressing your peopley lives, people, and let the people live in their own people-person ways. Follow your intuition, do what is right for you, our only caveat being that we should do no harm. However, it’s not that simple, is it?

The trouble, I’ve discovered, is that as soon as you do express your individuality, for example by buying yourself a tutu for your 55th birthday or politely declining a vaccination because you are listening to the intuition that has served you well all your life, society shouts ‘NO, you weird and selfish excuse for a human! Whilst on the surface we support everyone’s right to act autonomously regarding their personal health, safety and happiness, when it comes to the crunch we DEMAND you act as part of the common herd and do as you are bloody well told, lest we pile heaps of guilt upon you and smite you with smiteness.’

Superficiality, you see. That’s what it comes down to, this idea of embracing the right to be individual. ‘Do as we say, not as we do. Forget all the fluffy supportive and self-affirming stuff. Just get in THAT box THERE and don’t you dare move until you’ve reflected on your inane stupidity, and agree to tow the line. No, not your line - our line.’

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, about how stand alone we can actually be in this world. I’ve realised that my tribe is small - those people who share, think and value the same ways and things that I do. I’m connecting with some lovely new people via my Healer training. I have my Shropshire family at work. I have a few good friends and true. It’s a small tribe, my tribe. But I much prefer my small tribe to the big and raucous tribe that’s out there at the moment, stamping its feet, making assumptions, issuing demands. 

Wishing you, then, the courage to stand alone, to be yourself, to make your own decisions for yourself and by yourself with confidence and integrity, to express your ‘you-ness’ as loudly or as quietly as you wish, and to look someone in the eye and say, with respect and compassion, ‘No thank you. I’m the only person who knows what is best for me. Just like you do for you.’