Bloomin’ cold in the countryside this morning. Minus six when I checked the garden thermometer at 7.45 a.m, accompanying a massive frost bomb. Honestly, I thought it had snowed again. Magnus Cockerel was covered in frost but that’s his own stupid fault for insisting on sleeping up a tree every night.
Anyway, I wasn’t going anywhere, so cosy home day faffing around and reading by the fire for me.
His Lordship Malarkey had a busy day yesterday. He fixed the dribbly kitchen tap, for a start. Well, he’d tried to fix it before by dismantling it at least four times and replacing washers of varying types, sizes and styles, but to no avail. Chinese water torture entered our lives. So then he researched drippy taps on the interwebbly, and I consulted my brother who knows about plumbing and heating stuff, and it turns out the culprit was a worn doodah thingummy valve. So a new doodah thingummy valve was duly acquired and the tap it no longer drippeth, which is a sanity saver for us both!
When we moved to Damson Cottage, one of the quirks we discovered was that although there was a landing light, it could only be switched on and off if you were upstairs. A downstairs switch there was none. This is all well and good when it’s summer, but during the dark days of winter, going upstairs at night is fraught with unseen dangers, a lot of them involving a black cat. You can’t see a black cat on the stairs in the dark. And it’s not helped when aforesaid black cat has no sense of danger and a stubborn refusal to get out of the way.
Anyway, I purchased a small torch for a fine English pound, or was it two pounds? Whatever, I bought a torch so I could make like a modern day Wee Willie Winkie, climbing the stairs with a candlestick. And this was okay as long as I remembered to bring the torch downstairs in the morning, which often I didn’t. Cue more dangers on the stairs.
I know what you are all thinking at this point - that I am mad and need to get a grip and sort out having a downstairs switch installed. Aha! But if I did, then we wouldn’t have the joys of the multicoloured disco ball effect remote controlled light bulb that Andy installed yesterday!
Yes, the landing light is now fitted with a smart bulb that is linked to an app on the iPad, so when we want light on the landing, we just control it from the iPad! How insane, how clever, how pointless is THAT?? Talk about 21st century problem solvers, eh? The bulb can be made to shine a variety of colours ranging across the rainbow spectrum. We’ve tested them out and will likely stick with the violet, indigo, blue end, because the red end makes upstairs look like a house of ill repute.
And that would NEVER do.
I’ve just had a FaceTime call from Number Two granddaughter who wanted to consult me about a tricky piece of school work. The question was ‘Jesus was always spreading good news. What good news did I have to spread?’
Well, I could only think of three. 1) I’m still alive 2) the kitchen tap is no longer dripping and 3) we have a disco ball remote controlled smart bulb on the landing so I am safe from death by cat.
Would Jesus approve, do you think?
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