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Fluffernutter

It is said that you learn something new every day. My belief is that if you find you are heading towards the end of a day and you HAVEN’T learned anything new, then you should jolly well seek out a new thing to learn and go to bed with a bit more knowledge than that with which you woke. 

Today, I learned about something called fluffernutter. And I wish I hadn’t. Of course, those of you from across the pond called Atlantic will be thinking, ‘She’s never heard of fluffernutter? Where has she been for the last 54 years of her life?’ And I shall respond, ‘Being blissfully unaware of fluffernutter, that’s where,’ because now I AM aware, I feel scarred for life. 

This is fluffernutter...

Do you want to have a guess? Poo and partially cooked egg white, that’d be my guess if someone stopped me in the street and wafted that in my face.

Oh, but it gets worse. In order to create fluffernutter, one has to apply the substance on the left to the substance on the right. The substance on the left being peanut butter, the one on the right being marshmallow. Fluffernutter. 🤢🤮

Seriously, I’m taking a bit of a breather at this moment. Queasy isn’t the word for it. Why on EARTH would someone ruin a perfectly acceptable spread like peanut butter by mixing it with marshmallow? In a sandwich, for heavens’ sake?? Why???

I don’t eat marshmallow anyway because one of its ingredients is gelatine made from boiling down pig cartilage. That should be enough to put anyone off the stuff. You might just as well quaff horse glue. Apparently, fluffernutter has a history going back years and years and years. I can’t believe the concept hasn’t been outlawed and consigned to the history of ‘Foodstuffs That Should Never Have Been Invented’ along with Spam, Weetabix, black pudding, rice pudding, egg nog, corned beef and enormous spiced sausages that look suspiciously like horses’ willies.

Anyway, today is National Flutternutter Day. Just in case you want to celebrate by mixing peanut butter with marshmallow and then actually eating the stuff. But please don’t. Seriously, if you want to mix weird stuff in a sandwich I can recommend jam and cheese...

Comments

aileen g said…
Marshmallow - yuck! I call it MUSHmallow, and although I love peanuts I don't like peanut butter but I liked the peanut butter cookies I used to bake for the kids. It's not so much the taste of these things but the texture - anything "flobbly" or gloopy makes me gag (referring back to soft-boiled eggs in a previous post). So I shall pass on a fluffernutter but the cheese and jam sandwich took me back to my childhood as it was a favourite of my dad. Eldest used to concoct some unusual meals - cheese on toast with golden syrup was a favourite. No difference to putting chutney with cheese I guess.
As for rice pudding - well I do like it and I like the skin as well but I am worried about Boris Johnson's proposed wind farms if they do manage to knock the skin off all the rice puddings as he so eloquently said. That classics education obviously wasn't wasted. BTW I found another 5 Allen keys today - perhaps they are really some sort of alien species (Alien keys) waiting to take over the world?
8 October 2020 at 19:32
Athene said…
Yuck. Just yuck. Nothing wrong with sweet and savoury - cheese and jam, cheese and apple pie, cheese and fruitcake. Even jam and peanut butter (weirdly known as peanut butter and jelly in the USA I believe). But marshmallow - no. Never. Ever.
8 October 2020 at 19:48
Anonymous said…
Fluffernutter? Yes, that is a combination only kids who have been left alone a little to much after school comes up with. Now in the name of Marshmellow...I totally understand the gelatin objection. However, you should try to make it yourself before you dismiss it completely if it only marshmellow itself you are objecting to. Yes, you can make it at home and is head over heels better than any store bought version. Now on to rice pudding; the question now is what exactly are you referring to when you say rice pudding? The version where you boil the rice in whole milk, let it cool completely and then add whipped double cream with a touch of good quality vanilla and then add cherry sauce on top or something else completely?
Egg nog? Only if it comes from our neighbor who has not altered their recipe since their college days. It should really come with a warning sign. Keep the blood pudding - what is up with that recipe to be begin with!?
KJ
8 October 2020 at 20:36
Denise said…
Aileen, now be honest - are you actually running a rest home for retired Allen keys? Do they migrate to you because you have a comfy drawer where they can live out their days in peace and quiet, undisturbed and never required to do anything like work ever again? Trouble is, you feel like you can never throw them away, can you? Because the one you ditch might actually be the one you need tomorrow. I like peanut butter, especially on a warm bit of toast. Rice pudding makes me heave - it’s the texture. My mum informs me I would eat anything as a baby, and I would eat rice pudding, too, but would immediately heave it back up! I had a note excusing me from school dinner rice pudding. One of the dinner ladies (as they were known then) queried the note, to which my mum replied she had better be ready with the sick bucket then!

Aah, Olly! My astral twin! I am wholly with you on everything in your comment! I look at marshmallow and think, ‘Why?’ And I believe it is popular to put them on a stick and set fire to them in a bonfire. Again, why?

KJ - vanilla? Are you INSANE?? Eurgh.....yack.......bleurgh....so adding it to rice pudding would not, I’m afraid, add to the appeal. Sheesh...
Egg nog should be the name of an amusing little cartoon character, not a drink. You know I love an egg - but to nog it? No, that’s a step too far. Don’t mess with the eggs! It’s like taking a perfectly lovely nut like an almond and turning it into marzipan, which is also disgusting and should have been on my list, too. Along with aniseed and liquorice. I can’t believe I left off so many things.
9 October 2020 at 08:45
Anonymous said…
Eh, who are you and can you please bring Denise back? Marzipan is essential in good homemade Christmas confectionary. But my husband agrees with you. He once ate too much as a kid and has never since been able to touch it since, considering his age it must have been really bad. Aniseed, I would agree. BUT liquorice, com'on! not the sweet kind which should really be prohibited from be called liquorice and is generally soft but the salty, chewy version, thank you very much. Eggnog I can live without and have never made myself. Not even vanilla?
KJ
9 October 2020 at 14:54
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